4 november 2009, manchester blues

Thursday 5th November 2009

In a bit of a funk at the moment. Combination of many things perhaps: some hard, stressful things at work, my right hand problem, the dark nights suddenly, a cold study (as its in the conservatory), my other half worried about her trip to new york and my mum moving into supported accommodation. Beneath it though, I do question manchester. I recall, sometime during the 20 years or so I didn't live in this place, driving up from london with a good friend, and just as we past Macclesfield on the m1 it started raining. “Aha” we’re in manchester, I said, and we got into a discussion about how the place represented past and loss (of my father) for me, and how I felt within that ring of sadness. Larkin has a wonderful poem – the importance of elsewhere - which captures for me the beauty of being away, where strangeness makes sense and difference welcomes. Here, by contrast, there is “no such excuse: These are my customs and establishments. It would be much more serious to refuse. Here no elsewhere underwrites my existence.”